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My friend considers herself to be at fault for her divorce, even though her ex was a horrible human being (though not physically abusive). She is going out of her way to make sure that her kids have a male “father figure” in their lives. I have tried telling her that she is enough, that the kids truly do love her, and that those of us around her are more than glad to pick up the slack, but it often falls on deaf ears. Her kids are a preteen and an adolescent — a boy and a girl.We had been friends for 12 years, but it was always the wrong time to date each other.When my daughter turned three, it just so happened that neither one of us had anyone. I got kind of focused on myself and my family, my two children.(Well, it may be, but it’s too late to change that now.) You’ve only just started seeing this whippersnapper (get used to the ribbing, it’ll come from all directions) and things might not work out.If they do, your son is unlikely to object in the long term to something that makes you happy.I had my kid quite young in life, younger than the average woman, in fact.

He’s 35 and a real old soul – we hit it off instantly.Finding love is hard, but it has an added layer of complexity for single parents.While single women may have to consider if the men they're seeing are liked by their friends and families, single moms have to make sure these potential partners are worthy of their children, as well.The optimal thing for families stumbling through transitions is for the kids to have a loving relationship with both of their parents — even if the parents have split — and for all parties to settle down into a daily reality that is stable and balanced.Spend time with your friend and her children, and urge her (privately) to relax into her new reality and help her children to enjoy their life as it is, now.

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